Back to where I left off
It has been about three and 1/2 months since I saw my audiologist to see if any hearing remained in my left ear. I had suspected I would have none and I didn’t. The following week I went to my primary neurosurgeon for my two-month follow-up appointment. I came with a list of questions. Right after the surgery, my mouth tasted like salt when I had a glass of water. It had now changed to a metal taste. My doctor assured me that it should go away within a year.
At the time of my appointment, I was still having a lot of balance issues. Pulling a sweatshirt over my head, closing my eyes to wash my face or hair, and turning my head too quickly to the right or left would cause the feeling of potentially falling. My doctor would have physical therapy contact me. He said that I would probably need 8 to 12 weeks of therapy. I was frustrated about not driving yet, but the physical therapy would get me to the point of driving if all went as planned.
My tinnitus remained, much worse than pre-surgery, and he told me it may get better in time. Due to the complete loss of hearing I could get a Bone Anchor Hearing Aide (BAHA.) I wanted to try anything at this point. I had been struggling with hearing in only one ear. People talking around me, make it hard to hear someone next to me. And if someone is talking to me I can’t tell where they are. Walking in my neighborhood with sounds of lawnmowers, dogs barking and cars approaching makes me nervous.
The big plus at that appointment was the feeling that I was talking better. I wasn’t struggling as much as I had been to get words out of my mouth. My right eye wasn’t opening as much as my left eye. This struck me as really odd since my left side was affected by the surgery. The strange thing about my eye was that my left side had lifted up a bit from my eyebrow down. Prior to my surgery, my left eye drooped more than my right. Now it was reversed. It bothers me when I look in the mirror, but I know it could have been so much worse. I would have my first MRI to see the size of my tumor, if it was still visible, after the first of March.
Progress continues slowly.
The last week of January I had my first physical therapy appointment. One exercise involved looking on a hand-drawn, kinda warped (intentionally) looking, clock. I had to follow the numbers backward, forward, every other number, every other number backward, and so on. The other exercise involved holding a card with an X on it. I moved it around to form a shape of an X, following it with both eyes. They seem simple, but they were tough at first. I’m still in physical therapy, every few weeks. Each time I get pushed a little farther. Standing on one leg, walking down the hall while looking up and down, etc. On February 19 I drove for the first time with my husband. It was a little scary, but it went well. It felt like I had finally passed my driver’s test at 63. I slowly eased into driving.
That same week, I saw an audiologist in Sacramento to test different types of Bone Anchor Hearing Aides to help determine which was best for me. I wore things on my head and went through a series of sounds. After the testing, the audiologist explained the options in detail. I read through all the information that she gave me and made the decision to go with the one that seemed the best, When I notified my neurosurgeon he told me that I would get the one that was newer, that wouldn’t be available until March.
And then it was March and everyone’s life changed.
With March came my birthday and I was no longer the young 63 year-old with her new driver’s license. On Monday I drove to Nothing Bundt Cake to get my free bundtlett. On Tuesday I went to Arby’s to get my free small shake and curly fries with the purchase of a sandwich. Wednesday I went out with a friend and drove around the city running errands. Thursday I drove to lunch with my mom and a sister. Friday the newness had worn off and I stayed home.
Physical therapy switched from on-site, to by phone. Not quite the same, but it works since I had already seen her several times. On March 19, our governor announced a stay at home order for our state. I was happy that I had my brief bit of freedom with my birthday.
The stay at home orders has also meant that I never had my MRI, nor my surgery. So my progress has been temporarily put on hold, except for my physical therapy. I am missing the personal contact though and hoping that it can resume the traditional way soon.
So my journey continues
As I have said before, patience has never been one of my outstanding characteristics. But it is getting to be easier to be patient. I remain on disability waiting for plans for the rest of this journey to continue. I’m thinking it will be soon since they are easing restrictions on non-essential surgery. Personally, I thought it was pretty essential, but I was overruled by the governor. I can’t believe that a pandemic would have such a big impact on my life.
My husband asked me the other day if I would have had the surgery if I had known the outcome. I had to think a bit. In the past, I’ve said yes. Now, I don’t think I would have. I should have waited to see how fast my tumor was actually growing. There had been hope that I wouldn’t lose all my hearing and I had clung to that, so I pushed for the surgery. And I never imagined the balance issues I am still having.
However, there is no going back. Most likely I would have eventually decided to go through with it. I’m just a bit further along than I would have been, had I waited. In every decision that has been made, God still has everything under control. And I continue to trust Him.
To read more about my story click on this link or the one below to learn how to get your own free Bundlett:
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Thank you. It was a tough road. I wanted to write it so that others would see that life isn’t always a smooth ride. But in the end, God had things under control for me.