Have you thought about writing a goodbye letter to your grandchildren? As I age, I become more aware of the possibility that I will die before my grandchildren marry and have children of their own. And as I age, I hope I live long enough to see my grandchildren marry and have children who would be my great-grandchildren. But just in case I die sooner than these things happen, I want them to know a few things. Some things about my past, our shared values, and things that I hope for them.
I have started working on mine. The following sections are some examples of what I am including, so these ideas might give you a start on your letter(s) to your grandchildren.
When I was little, my life differed from yours
It might be challenging to imagine, but our first television was black and white when I was young. Not the television itself, the shows. One of my favorite shows was Felix the Cat. Since he was black, it wasn’t a big deal that the only colors on the television show were black and white.
We didn’t have remotes for our T.V. If you wanted to change the channel, you had to get up and change it. Or ask someone else to do it. It was normal for us, but I bet you think it impossible to get up each time you wanted to change the channel or turn off the T.V. And by the way we didn’t have to key in the numbers to change a channel, no we had to turn a knob from station to station. And we didn’t have very many to choose from back then. There wasn’t a Disney channel, Cooking channel, Sports channel, or any of the channels you find favorite shows on today.
Cell phones hadn’t been invented. When they first came out, it was after your Papa and I married. He got one for work, and it was huge. It was attached to the floor of his vehicle. If I remember correctly, he took it into the house each night, but it was not something he could fit in his pocket.
We could only buy soda in a glass bottle. There were no aluminum cans or plastic bottles. Getting a soda was a real treat for us. I can remember my dad, your great-grandfather, buying us a soda when we went on errands with him. It was the best.
God should be the most important person in your life
The most important relationship you will have in your life is with God. No matter what difficulties you have in life, whether with your siblings, parents, spouse, or children, God can help you.
You were raised to love God. You will learn more about God by reading the Bible and studying it. Prayer brings you closer to God. You will also become closer to Him as you trust God in all you do. If you only remember one thing I ever said, it is to love God above all others.
I am proud of each of you
You may think I’m proud of your sister more than you. Or maybe your brother. But it is not true. Each of my grandchildren is different. And each of you holds a special place in my heart. Perhaps you are good at baseball or soccer. Or golf or basketball. Or your specialty could be playing the piano or singing. Do you feel you have no talent or aren’t good at sports? None of that matters to Grandma. Grandma is proud of you because you are you. You are kind and I am proud of you. I am proud of how you love and treat other children. I am proud of you, not because you are the best at baseball, but because you support your team and encourage the other players.
Memories are so important
Whether you make memories with your parents or someday with your own family, cherish them. Look back at the pictures your parents took of trips. Remember the fun times you shared, like holidays and birthday parties. Laugh about them and cry about them. Remember them. They are a piece of your life. They are your history.
I will always love you
Sometimes kids will disobey their parents and think their parents love them less because of it. But that isn’t true. It’s the same with Grandma and Papa. We love you even when you are naughty, and like your parents, we expect you to apologize and feel sorry that you did something wrong when you were naughty.
You may have curly or straight hair. You may be tall or short. It doesn’t matter to most people. Your parents love you for who you are. I love you for the same reasons. You will never know how much I love you. I loved every picture you drew for me. I especially loved your hugs and kisses. And the times I could read you a story during the day or before bedtime were some of my favorites.
It’s time to write your goodbye letter to your grandchildren
I have given you a glimpse into my letter. I haven’t finished it yet, and as you may have guessed, each of my grandchildren will get the same letter, unless, of course, down the road, I decided to create a separate letter for each grandchild. Even if I did a different letter per grandchild, I think each one will be the same, except maybe a special paragraph that pertains to that child.
Take out a piece of paper and a pencil, or maybe your laptop, and start writing. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It only needs to be true. I’m pretty confident that one day when your grandchild reads their special letter, they will love it. It will be part of the memories that they cherish. And be sure your final copy of the letter is addressed to them, written in your handwriting, and signed by you. And if you think of something else to say, add it as a P.S. or write a whole new letter.
Start writing your letter and let me know how you are doing with it. Maybe there is something special that I haven’t touched on, that you have included. Please let me know in the Reply section below.
And don’t forget to live these words with your grandchild while you are still here. Love them every day you can.
I am 78, and may goodbye letters have been written for three years. I also have a list of instructions on how to find things, accounts, people to call for help, etc. My obituary and funeral are also done. Now I am in the midst of Swedish Death Cleaning and getting rid of a lot of stuff.
Good for you! I have a list of passwords and my funeral wishes done. And some where to find things, which needs to be updated. Keep at it, you are doing an excellent job.
Wonderful idea. I’m 70 and not in good health. I will writing my letters to my grandsons soon. If I live longer, I will update the letters as I go along. I cherished things said to me by my dad. I want my grandkids to have my words in writing.
Shelley,
I’m sure your grandsons will appreciate this. I’m so happy that you are going to do it. And, yes, update it as life goes on.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on how to write a goodbye letter to my grandchildren. This is an awesome thing to do. I would cherish that from my grandmothers. Lots of great ideas here to build on. I appreciate so very much your thoughtfulness & your being so kind to share. Praying you have many more priceless memories to share.
Blessings!
Thannk you. We continue to add to the memories each year. We try to take the family on a trip each summer. Sometimes its only a few hours away, but other times its to Hawaii, where we will go this year.
Love this Idea. thank you for the reminder I had started one years ago and will be adding to it.
Great! I hope you do work on your letter. I have very little from my parents and basically nothing but a very few pictures of my great grandparents on my mom’s side.
When our son was in college and broke, his Christmas gift was a letter to the family thanking each of us for our part in his life. Some of it was funny, but most of it was just filled with all the little memories that make up his journey to adulthood..
He’s married now and has children of his own, but that letter is still hanging on the wall and will forever be our favorite Christmas gift!
That’s very nice. What a great idea for your son to have done. It’s even better that you have kept it all these years.
I don’t think you should say “Even though you were naughty sometime…” The implication is that they were bad sometimes, just don’t think that’s right.
Sometimes my grandchildren are naughty. None of them are perfect, but we have no robbers or thieves in our group.You know when they are naughty when they give you a funny look, like they were caught. They are 98% perfect and 2% naughty.
I absolutely love this. I have six grandchildren from 10 to 16 and I love more than they will ever know. I fully intend to write a letter to them so they can have a glimpse of what my life was like. Thank you for sharing this.
Great. I’m happy this is something you will be doing.
Thank you for sharing your idea. I have five grandchildren and three grands-in- law. I have not started writing but composing in my mind. One idea is, I will start each with, “You are my favorite because…..
Each one is unique. I am going to start writing now. Thanks again. Marie
That is a great way to start. Don’t wait too long before you get started.
I have not yet written a letter to my grandson, bit have not yet done so. But I have done something that I didn’t see mentioned. When my church made a photo album showing members a few years ago, we were offered a picture package from large to small picture selections. I bought a small number of pictures, had one framed for both my son and grandson, with a wallet size picture also included. When I gave my picture to my grandson we had a talk about how this picture was his forever and he was to keep it to help remember what I looked like and the goid times we haf. Now I have to get my letters done and put away.
Very good idea about the pictures. My son and daughter-in-aw had a picture book made of all their daughter’s relatives, so she could learn who each one was, since we don’t live nearby. They have since had another daughter who gets to learn who everyone is.
I am not using quite this format for my grandchildren. I found a list of questions grandchildren should ask their grandparents. Since my grandchildren are still quite young, I decided to answer those questions in letter format. It is a work in progress as I recall things from my past to include in my letter. I will, however, include some of these points in my continuing letter. I also included stories about their mother as she was growing up; family recipes and information about their ancestors (I have an extensive genealogy completed). And, since I don’t know how many grandchildren I will have, I just addressed the letter to the grandchildren of and my name.
That sounds like a great idea. Best wishes on this plan.
God bless you for sharing this. ❤️
My mom left several notes in her Bible and wrote us a poem about the house we grew up in. So special. You have motivated me. 🥰
I’m so happy this helped motivate you.
I have 4 wonderful grandchildren I and I love them so much. I’m so thankful you shared them with us. I plan on starting on my letters today. Again thank you. Patty Stafford
Patty,
thank you for reading this post. I’m happy it resonated with you. I hope one day your grandchildren are excited to read them. And keep them.
Thanks for sharing your letter. I have spoken these words to my grandkids, but having it written down will mean so much more in the end. I also like to share my thoughts about their parents (my children) to let them know how much I love them too (and where all that “mischief” came from.)
Teresa,
I’m so happy this post spoke to you. We do have memories that we keep in our hearts, but having something written down will last forever. Maybe one day your great grandchildren will see the letters. And parent mischief is a great thing to include.
Thank you for this…I will intentionally set my mind to do this in this new year!♥️
God Bless.
Barbara, I’m glad you appreciated this post. I Hope one day your grandchildren find the letter(s) special. God bless you, too.
Great idea. I need to start writing my own letter.
Barbara, I’m glad you found this helpful. Write one to each grandchild and tell them how different life was when you grew u,p and how proud of them you are, and how much you love them.
Thank you for showing us to do this. Otherwise the love is never left for them to know how much they meant to us. And, they need to know love.
Glorian,
I’m glad you found this post helpful. Letting them know you love them is especially important to the littlest ones, who might not remember you.
You have certainly given me a few pointers to think about and to add on as I go along… if there’s anything I think of that you haven’t I’ll be sure to let you know…thanks for the starter regards Gloria
Gloria, Yes, continue to add to your letter as life continues on.
I disagree. The letter should be in your own handwriting. Styles of hand writing have changed over the years and it is important to see these changes; it is also more personal if it is handwritten. I don’t have a letter from my grandmother or my mum but I treasure handwritten recipes with their personal comments scribbled along side them. It doesn’t have to be polished just heartfelt.
As long as you have legible handwriting I would definitely agree. These days kids are not learning handwriting in school as far as I’ve heard. But, definitely a handwritten note would be much nicer than a typed one.
This is such a fabulous idea! Oh how i miss my little Gram. I do have some birthday cards from her and some letters. I’m going to write to my grandkids so they’ll remember how much i love them when I’m gone. Thank you for this idea.
I wish I had more remembrances from my grandparents and parents. I wanted to give ideas to other grandparents to leave a lasting memory for their grandchildren.
What a lovely idea and a meaningful way to express my love for my grandchildren. Letting them know that my love for them doesn’t end when my time on earth does is so important. Thank you for this lovely idea.
Shawna,
I’m glad you enjoyed this post. It’s a great way to leave a lasting treasure for your grandchildren.
One should print your letter because so many children aren’t taught how to write or read cursive.
You are correct. Plus, some handwriting is hard to read. My grandchildren are homeschooled, and they are learning cursive, but I have heard it is not taught in many schools. I still don’t know how those children will sign checks, etc. one day.
Unfortunately many aren’t writing checks anymore. My kids in their 30s don’t use checks.
Brenda,
Everything is paid online. And they don’t learn handwriting anymore. Leave them a letter, telling them how life was when your were growing up. Like no cell phones.