our oldest granddaughter.
Saying Happy Mother’s Day and I love you to my mom has always been a part of every year of my life. For over thirty years I have been on the other end, receiving those greeting from my own children. Even my grandchildren will wish me a Happy Mother’s Day on occassion.
As Mother’s Day is fast approaching, I would love to call my mom and tell her how cute her 22nd great-grandchild, my 5th grandchild, is becoming. I would tell her how well our garden is doing and ask her how hers is doing. Or can she come by and see the new cabinets we had installed last week. There is so much I want to tell her. Regardless of what day it is, even though it’s not Mother’s Day yet.
And I would be calling and texting her and including her in our future plans with our children and grandchildren.
However, this year is different. I’m not the only one in this position. There are probably thousands of us who will be facing our first Mother’s Day, without our mom. I’ve survived her birthday and my birthday and our first Christmas and Thanksgiving. Mother’s Day will be the last big hurdle I have to face. I think this could be the hardest one.
Missing my mom
The last few Mother’s Days, my two sisters and I have taken our mom out for frozen yogurt. We did last year, too, but we actually picked it up and ate It at our mom’s house because of Covid restrictions. It has been a simple tradition that provides us with a bit of quality time with our mom, just the four of us.
It has only been since early November that my mom died. Each day I see something I’d like to show her or think of something I’d like to tell her. I’d love for her to meet her latest great-grandchild, who was born two and a half months after my mother died. Life continues on and she is not there to share it.
Until you lose your mom you can’t really understand that sense of loss. I never expected it to be this hard. And at this time, I don’t see that loss going away anytime soon. My mom was a good friend. She was walking distance away from my home. And I continue to wish I could see her one more time. Hug her one more time. And say “I love you,” one more time.
I know that there are many of you that are in that same situation, and yet Mother’s Day is fast approaching and you cannot see her again.
When you have lost contact with your mom
To some women out there, their mother died when they themselves were a child. Or they have lost contact with their mom many years ago. There may be bitterness keeping them apart, or maybe there is no way to contact her, as she has intentionally left your life completely. That has to be very difficult to bear. Or, you may feel it’s a good thing, depending on the situation.
Never becoming a mom
I know that many women have chosen not to become a mom. Others have been unable to become a mom and morn silently each Mother’s Day. And other mothers may be facing this Mother’s Day as a mother who lost their child, whether it be in infancy or at forty years old. No mother wants to outlive her child.
Or possibly miscarriage followed by miscarriage. Experiencing that pain multiple times, when your friends may not be as sympathetic as you would like them to be, sounds heartbreaking. As women, we need to be sympathetic to those who have suffered from a miscarriage or loss of a child a few days or weeks after birth. The excitement of the approaching birth of a baby is not something to let go of easily. That pregnancy was a child you prepared for and longed for and now your life doesn’t move on without memories of that pregnancy, that baby, that love.
Or the woman who felt that her only choice was to abort her child. She didn’t view the fetus as a child. She had been told that by people she trusted. But now she realizes that she made the wrong decision. Or the woman that gave her baby up for adoption and now wishes she could meet her son or daughter.
None of these situations is happy. And in most of them, the people involved had no control over the situation. As women, we will suffer loss and we will know others who will also. We need to be conscious of those who may be mourning a loss, facing the day with sadness. Especially for those who have suffered a very recent loss.
Enjoy Mother’s Day
I don’t mean to be forcing some sadness into your life this Mother’s Day. Just awareness and compassion. Along with those who may be sad this Mother’s Day there are many more women that will have a very happy day on Mother’s Day. They will receive cards, gifts, and flowers mixed in with love. And they deserve to receive that love.
If you are able to, be sure that you spend this Mother’s Day talking to your mom, or visiting her if miles don’t stand in your way. Be sure to tell your mom that you love her and if possible give her a hug. And if you are a mom yourself, bask in the love that you receive from your child(ren.) Mother’s Day is meant to be a reminder of the love we have received from our mothers. The love that goes on down the generations.
I intend to do my best to enjoy my children and grandchildren, as gifts from God, on this Mother’s Day. And I will spend this Mother’s Day thinking of all the positive memories I have of my own mom. And I believe that health and joy are back in her life now that she is in Heaven. That is something for which to be happy.
May this be a wonderful Mother’s Day,
as you celebrate it with your mom,
your child(ren), and/or your grandchild(ren.)
You deserve a day to celebrate and/or be celebrated!
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
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