On May 19, 2019, my husband and I were returning home from visiting our son and his family. It was a rainy day, sometimes heavy.
In the car, I was researching a diagnosis for my current ailment. I wasn’t having much success. My husband interrupted my thoughts somehow and I looked up to see a motorcycle in the lane to our right fly backward through the air, the rider also flying in the air. Before that sunk in, I realized the car nearest to us was coming over into our lane, most likely trying to avoid hitting the vehicle in front of him. The car was so close that I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the impact, which would likely injure me.
Seconds later, I opened my eyes and we were in the third lane of the three-lane freeway. Amazingly, there had been room for my husband to move into the lane to our left. It was a miracle. The traffic had been somewhat heavy, and I don’t know how he got there. My chest ached and I was panicked. It was too late, to check on the motorcyclist since we were down the road, but my husband said he saw him on the ground and he was not moving.
A few minutes earlier, my husband was looking out to our left at the scenery as he drove, taking his eyes off the road for a few seconds. At the time of this near miss, he had been fully watching the cars around him. We know that God was watching over us that day.
After we were home, I rearranged my to do list, by moving the following items up to the top:
- Redo our Last Will and Testament
- Prepare Living Wills
- Work on Final Care Directives
- Create Medical Power of Attorney Forms
- Have these form witnessed and/or notarized as needed
Have you already prepared these for yourself?
Last Will and Testament
Your will is a directive for what will happen to your possessions in the event of your death. This includes a guardian for young children. Keep in mind that that guardian needs to be considered carefully. You do not want to place the care of your children with a relative that is already overwhelmed with the care of their own children. Your parents could be a good choice, depending on their age and health. Give this a lot of thought and discuss it with the person(s) you have selected. Your last will and testament will likely require signatures from two witnesses and may also require notarization.
An executor needs to be established to handle all of the requests in your will. You also may want to select an alternate in the event your executor is unavailable/unable to carry out the instructions of your will. Your executor will pay all your outstanding bills, distribute your personal property, sell your real property, hire an attorney for advice, and other things as listed in your will.
If you are married, depending on your state, most everything you own may go to your surviving spouse. In the event that neither of you survives you need to cover who will receive what. If there was something you promised to someone be sure to state that, especially if you have children/heirs that will be receiving unequal bequeaths. Be sure that everything is clear so there are no arguments among the heirs as to what should be happening. If there is someone you fear will contest your will, include them in the will stating that they will receive nothing.
Is it time to update your will?
If you already have a will, consider reading it over and possibly updating it. We had wills written by a lawyer when our daughter was born. After some time, our lawyer died. Our wills moved on to another lawyer. In the process, one of our originals disappeared. I bought software to update them, almost ten years ago, and had failed to follow through. I needed to do this because the documents we have now are so outdated. Our children have grown and no longer need guardians in the event of our deaths. The old 1953 Pontiac we inherited from my husband’s father, can no longer be given to my husband’s sister. We gave it to a nephew, on my side and they still have it.
Our concerns and priorities have changed. Even the charities we had picked at that time, are no longer ones we would want to give money to, in the event that we both died. Some of them, yes, but others no.
Living Will
A living will differs from a will in that it is a directive on what will happen to you, while you are living but are unable to make decisions on your own. In our state witnesses are required to sign the form, but it does not need to be notarized. This form is especially important if you do not have someone that is available to make those decisions through a power of attorney. An example of this would be if both you and your spouse were is a severe accident and your spouse was no longer able to make decisions for your care.
This form is important if you have a terminal disease or condition that is incurable or irreversible. Your health status must be confirmed by two physicians saying you will die soon without someone administering life-sustaining treatment, and you are unable to make that decision anymore. This will direct your physician to withhold or withdraw treatment that only prolongs, your death, an irreversible coma, or a vegetative state. Your physician will then, per your wishes, stop feeding, hydration, or any other treatment that is not necessary for your comfort or pain.
Final Care Directive
A final care directive addresses your remains, services, organ donation, and who is your proxy to carry these out. This is your opportunity to state what you would like done in your absence. Will your body be cremated or buried in a casket? What will happen to your remains? Do you have a plot already purchased? Who will handle these services? (cremation, embalming, etc.) Where will any services be held? Do you want your organs donated for medical purposes? Who will see that these desires are carried out? If they refuse or are incapable, who will be your alternate?
Medical Power of Attorney
Your medical power of attorney is used in the event that you are injured or incapacitated in a way that you cannot make decisions in regards to your own health. An example would be a coma. This power of attorney is only for medical questions regarding your health/treatment while you are unable to make those decisions yourself. Be sure the person you choose agrees with your desires.
Optional: Funeral and Final Resting Place Instructions
This form is to help your family after you are gone, to plan a funeral. You can list songs or Bible passages you would like at your service. Maybe you know a soloist that you would like to sing at your funeral. I would also suggest mentioning that to the soloist while you are alive, in case they desire not to. In lieu of flowers, where would you like donations to go? Do you have a favorite outfit you would like to be buried in? Do you want your wedding ring to remain with you, or be given to someone? I found this form on freewill.com. I completed the form, signed and dated it.
Think about these things
Another reason I felt it was important to make progress on our wills, was my husband’s cousin had died very unexpectedly, from a fall in her home, at the age of 66, earlier that year. The next month a classmate died. We needed to get everything clearly stated in writing so that our wishes could be heard. This was important. At any moment there could be an automobile accident, a fall, or a diagnosis of a terminal disease. We continue to get older, not younger. We had to be practical.
Have you updated your will lately? If you haven’t maybe you should take it out and review it. After all, we are all just a second away from a possible, something unexpected, tragedy happening. Don’t wait until you get in the accident that changes all your plans. Do it now. Maybe God will give you another 10 or 20 years. But maybe He won’t. Don’t regret putting your will and the other documents I listed above, on the bottom of your to-do-list.
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