Today my husband and I celebrate 43 years of marriage. Some people would say we were celebrating forty-three years of wedded bliss. Is that even possible? In any marriage I believe there are ups and downs. No matter how much in love you are the day you get married, as the years go on there are always a few hiccups. Maybe even major coughing spells.
Could I ever have imagined that we would have made it this long? We have been married over 2/3 of our lives. That seems unbelievable to me. I never planned on getting divorced. Even through the tough times, I didn’t want our marriage to fail. We promised in our wedding vows, in front of a church full of people, that we would be married till death do us part. But most important, we promised in front of God. When times were tough, a friend said that in her marriage, God had never told her to leave her husband. God never told me to leave either. I really don’t think He will.
For the most part the forty-three years have been fun, happy and full of love. As we get older I feel like we talk more. I think we even love each other more, in different ways. It’s not always visible to outsiders. And I’ll admit I have complained about things to others. But, I don’t think we could have stayed through thick and thin, if we didn’t want to be here now.
When we got married we were really young, compared to most couples that get married today. But over the years we have grown up and grown together. It took forty-three years to get where we are today.
Throughout our marriage our roles have changed. At times we have switched places in being the main source of income. Household and outside duties have changed. I am happy to say, for the most part, everything seems to run smoothly. My husband empties the dishwasher now and then. He prepares dinner more often than I do. I meal plan and usually purchase the groceries. This year, I planted the vegetable garden for the first time. Before we married, he planted potatoes on my parent’s land. Since then, he usually plants tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, zucchini and various types of peppers. Occasionally carrots and radishes sneak in. This year, he was busy digging up our back yard and getting ready to put in sprinklers. I planted our tomatoes and cherry tomatoes. Also some zucchini plants. We’ve had a zucchini and several cherry tomatoes. This week I hope we have our first tomato, since my husband loves them. I still pay the bills and he does most of the yard maintenance. We seem comfortable in our rolls as they have evolved.
Our marriage has been a team effort, with a lot of give and take. It is not, give up and take what you can get out of a relationship. It’s give of yourself and take things slow and easy, with a grain of salt. View your spouse as your one and only, not your until you get tired of this relationship. Maybe one day, you will be celebrating forty-three years of marriage or maybe fifty. It takes a lot of work, but in the end, it’s worth it.
Since I am voicing my opinion on staying married, I want to mention that some relationships are not meant to suffer through. If you are, or were, in a relationship filled with violence and/or abuse, please don’t try to hit ten years. It’s more important to protect yourself and any children you have. There are too many horrific stories of people that try to stay and end up losing their life, or that of their children.
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